Vol. 37 No. 29 - I AM the Witness

Vol. 37 No. 29 - I AM the Witness - July 17, 1994

I AM the Witness

God Will Forgive Us of Anything

Dear Mother,

When our first child was born I remember the shock of her coming out of my body. “It’s a living soul!” I thought. I realized for the first time that what had been growing inside me was a soul, a person! I had had an abortion before I met and married my husband, and now I realized that it was a life that I had aborted. It all became real to me. The full impact of what I had done hit me.

My second child came and the moment that I held him I knew that here was the soul that I had aborted. I could barely meet his gaze as I felt such shame. He seemed to know me through and through—all the best and worst of me back through all my lifetimes, the full measure of my soul. He looked at me with such utter forgiveness and love. The tears flowed as I was bathed in that love. The miracle of God’s mercy and love was made clear to me. What a gift! Everyone called him the Wise One, the Buddha, as he looked like such an old man and radiated such an aura of peace. He is a living embodiment of love and has blessed our family. He teaches me continually of the path of love.

After our third child was born, I came into the Teachings and moved to Montana. While there I prayed daily to El Morya for the karma from the abortion to be given to me. Eventually I moved to California and continued to make the call. A few months later, our family felt a soul around. The children began playing with baby dolls that they had long since put away. I dreamt of babies, talked of babies—was consumed by babies! We applied to you and El Morya for sponsorship of a child and were approved.

On December 29, 1991 (Pearls of Wisdom, vol. 34, no. 2), Serapis Bey gave a dictation in which he said he desired to assist us “in the raising up of ascension’s flame.” He said, “I suggest that those who will may enter in to a forty-day period of celibacy but only by free will.” We observed this period of celibacy, and then we conceived on Easter. We were so thrilled! I continued to make the call for the karma of the abortion to return, but somehow I did not think about it in relation to the child I had conceived.

Ten weeks later I miscarried. It was more painful than any of my labors had ever been. As I was suffering I recalled my request and knew this to be the answer to my prayers. I thanked God in my grief for his infinite mercy. The doctors discovered that the problem was a blighted ovum—no baby had ever developed, as there was something wrong with the egg. It was so freeing to me to pay off the pain I had caused another—and to be the one who suffered this time, not another soul. I grieved for a long time.

After a time we tried again to conceive but, after many tears and disappointments, it did not happen. The burden lifted, the desire for another child passed and the gratitude for my three beautiful children filled my heart.

I know of God’s mercy as he gives us our karma so that we can clear the path back to his heart. I am so blessed by his love and humbled by his unending mercy. He will forgive us of anything. I no longer feel shame or guilt, as he has allowed me in this lifetime to shed the burden of such a misdeed. Praise be the name, I AM THAT I AM!

And thank you, El Morya.

“I Have Seen a Part of Myself Face to Face”

Beloved Mother,

I can’t thank you enough for your guidance and assistance in my life and my walk on this path.

I would like to tell you about what has happened to me recently in the hope that others will learn from it and realize just how important this teaching and path is to a soul’s evolution and learning.

One morning as I woke up I had a distinct feeling that something was different. I didn’t know what, but things just felt different. As I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I felt I even looked different. There was not necessarily a physical difference but perhaps a difference in my aura. Something was definitely changed.

As the morning went on, I thought to myself, “What is different? Why do I feel this way? Maybe something is going on in the world that I can feel but just don’t know about.”

Then a thought came to me, like a still small voice: “Yes, I am different, and it is because I have started to transmute the karma from another life.”

Now, I have been doing the violet flame for fifteen years. I know that I have had many lives and that the violet flame has been very helpful in transmuting the karma that I have made in those lives over many thousands of years. But I have never had anything specific to work on, and I have been happy and content to surrender it all to the flame.

As the morning went on and I was sitting at my desk, suddenly a scene of a past life flashed in my mind’s eye. It was a picture of me—a little different, but definitely me. I was aware of my feelings, my state of consciousness, my life at that time. It was a life on Atlantis and, as in this life, I was a woman. I had a high position in the government as a minister or official of some kind with a lot of power. I realized that I liked having power over people and using that power for my own ends. I had a huge ego.

We all make the calls to transmute negative karma we have reaped in this and previous lives, but for me it has finally all hit home—it has more reality now. I know I have seen a part of myself face to face, a part of my dweller. Not only have I seen it but I have felt it and even had a sense of it in my consciousness. It was not something I was aware of before but I am grateful to have had it shown to me and grateful for the opportunity to serve and work through this with the fire of God and the violet flame. And I didn’t even have to be hypnotically regressed to see it! God showed it to me in his time, when I was ready and able to see it for what it was and make the calls to change it.

What a great opportunity and blessing this path is and what love there is to guide us through the maze we have made of life and then to bring us home, whole and free once again. I cannot thank you and the Masters enough for your love and assistance.

With love, a chela,

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