Pearls of Wisdom

Vol. 36 No. 29 - I AM the Witness - July 18, 1993

 

I AM the Witness

 

 

      And Jesus answered and said, “Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel’s, but he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.

      “But many that are first shall be last; and the last first.”

Mark 10:29-31

Dear Mother,

Thank you and the Masters for all the opportunities that have been given and will be given to me and all others who have had the Path opened to them. And thank you for the opportunity to be here as a part of your staff.

I was reading the recent Pearl by Hercules and Amazonia (vol. 36, no. 28, “Know the Law and You Shall Conquer”) and was thinking about all the time I have spent on staff, the years in the Teachings and all the growth that has gone on in my soul, my consciousness, my life–all the lessons I have learned and all the tests that have come my way.

To be with Christ on the road to Emmaus, as the disciples who walked with Jesus were–this is what being in the Teachings is all about. To learn to discern who is Christ and when he is with us and how he guides and comforts us, and to discern that burning in our hearts when he is present with us–this is the Path. This is what we gain through all our testing and through the guidance of these Teachings and your assistance.

I want to tell you how grateful I am for your being here and for the Community and staff. I recently went through a time of testing that I would like to share because I think we all go through it at various times and in various degrees as we internalize the Teachings and let go of more and more of the world and all its allure, its maya.

I had a busy summer working at the ranch and was very tired as the summer came to a close. At a certain point I felt that I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I wanted to leave. (Please understand that I love being here more than anything but certain circumstances, certain situations, had come together and pushed me to the point of feeling I had had enough.) I see now that it was a major test for me. It was a test of my love and really an opportunity to see how much I had grown and how much I had internalized the Teachings.

I spent several days wallowing (I think that’s the best word to describe it) in my own human consciousness. I was upset about the way someone was treating me, upset about conditions in my department, conditions on staff. This “wallowing” just went on and on. Finally I had had enough. I sat down with myself and said, “Wait a minute. What’s going on here?  This is not like you at all. You need to take a closer look at all of this.”  So I asked myself a few questions:

“Is your interaction with another person enough to make you leave staff?”  (The answer was, of course, “No.”)

“Is the way you interact in your department with other staff enough to make you leave?”  (“Of course not.”)

As I sat there asking myself these questions, I went deeper and deeper into myself trying to find out what was causing me to feel the way I did. After peeling back several layers of this and that that didn’t really make any sense, I finally got to the bottom–and bottom is the best word to describe it. There “it” was in all its phony glory:  my dweller. Finally it had no place to hide anymore.

I realized that all that was bothering me really came down to one thing. I was losing a part of myself. But what part?  I had let go of my family, my friends, my job, my business, an identity that was me but not really the best part of me and I felt it was slipping away and it scared me.

I realized the scared part of me was my dweller, which was losing the battle over my soul. I had two parts of me pulling in two different directions–the part of me that was on the road with Jesus and the part of me that wanted the world. This is what Paul called the “warring in the members,” and what it comes down to is the Y in the road. Which part of us do we want:  the desire to follow Jesus, to walk and talk with him and eventually to become him, or the desire to go the way of the world?

I think that this testing comes many times in many guises. Sometimes in little ways, very subtle ways, and sometimes in major testings, but it is part of the Path. As Jesus said to Peter three times, “Do you love me?” so we also get our tests several times. Jesus asks us:  “Do you love me?”  And each time we answer, “Yes, Lord,” but each time it gets a little harder and each time it requires a little deeper digging into the heart for the answer. And each time we need to stop and come to the point where we feel that burning in the heart that we as disciples should feel as we walk and talk with Jesus on our path home to God.

Yes, this is the Path:  to learn the discernment of spirits, even in oneself. The world has much to offer, but all it offers comes and goes. What God has to offer concerns our spirit, and we can receive it if we can just let go and follow Jesus, who left such a beautiful path and example and who walks and talks with us if we let him.

Again, I am so grateful to be here and to have this path and this guidance all the way home. Thank you.

All my love,

A chela

 

                                  

 

Appreciation for the Pearls of Wisdom

To Whom It May Concern:

May I express my most heartfelt appreciation for the publishing of the wonderful Teachings and treasures of Light from the beloved Masters!  And to think I receive them in the mail once a week addressed directly, personally to me!

Sometimes I have gotten behind in reading the Pearls, but every time I pick one up to read, I know my Holy Christ Self is directing me because the message is so relevant to where I am on the Path. My heart thrills and is inspired by such intimate leading of my soul by my Holy Christ Self as well as by the beloved Masters!

I AM truly grateful not only for this blessing of illumination and constant comfort but also for the fact that when I recently renewed my subscription for three months, I received a gift subscription for a whole year!  As I gladly receive, so shall I gladly give of the Light of God that never fails as I have opportunity to commune at the Lord’s table with others.

God bless you in spreading the Word!

In thanksgiving and praise, I AM