I AM the Witness
“I Slit My Wrist”
My Beloved Mother,
It has been on my heart for a long time to bear witness to the love you have given me by literally saving my life from suicide. The “I AM the Witness” in Krishna’s Pearl (vol. 35, no. 8) “Message from a Teen Suicide” compelled me to finally write this.
There were a number of reasons for the depression that set in when I turned thirteen. My parents had recently divorced and I hated both of them for breaking up our family (which I refused to admit was dysfunctional). High school was not easy with all the pressure to rebel, break the rules and do the wrong thing. I couldn’t sleep at night because I was so depressed. I would silently cry into my pillow as I wondered, “Why am I in this miserable old world anyway? Why should I live?”
The depression grew until one time I was so overwhelmed that I felt I was all alone in the entire world. No one bothered to notice me. As far as I was concerned, even God didn’t know who I was. He wouldn’t care or even notice if I were to kill myself.
I went into the kitchen to get a knife with the intention of slitting my wrists. I was carrying the knife to my room when a friend saw me. God must have sent her to me in that moment because if we had not sat down and talked, I would have surely killed myself then. I cried and cried while she hugged me and we sat there talking. She asked me to give it a week and see if the depression got any better. I reluctantly agreed to wait.
Well, it did seem to get better for a while. But as the waves of depression started rolling over me again, my grades fell and I couldn’t sleep again.
So, one day–a day that I will never forget–I slit my wrist. I took a knife and made a big gash on my left wrist. The blood gushed out and I was going to slit my right wrist but suddenly I felt something inside me BOLT awake. I dashed to the sink where I ran cold water over the wound and I immediately put pressure on it. I almost fainted and had to sit down. I yelled, “Oh, God! Help me! I don’t want to die! Not now! Please don’t let me die!” I was sobbing and my heart hurt.
After some time, the gash began to bleed less. It was truly a miracle that I didn’t pass out. I had enough strength to get up and get my decree book, so I turned to 7.11S, “The Suicide Entity Decree.” I started off by whispering it and gradually gave it louder and louder until I was shouting it.
The next day I wrote a note to you, my dearest Mother. I was so ashamed and thought you would be very angry at me for daring to try to take my life. I imagined all sorts of retributions from El Morya. But none of that happened.
You called me up (this still brings tears to my eyes) and you told me how much you cared about me. Since you have known me for so long you were able to help me work through some personal problems. You talked with me about my family and what was happening. I didn’t get any of the wrath of God that I was expecting. Instead I was loved. You said, “I want you to know how much I love you.” I started crying and said, “I love you, too, Mother.”
And I do. I do love you with all of my heart, Mother. All I needed was for someone to show me that they cared about me, that they loved me. You were the one who touched my heart, Mother, and gave me a reason to go on in this world, which used to be so painful for me. Now that you’ve brightened it, it has become a world in which I don’t have to suffer anymore.
Oh yes, the depression still comes and goes. I am going to start seeing a psychologist and I think that will help. But do you know what, Mother? You saved me. You gave me a part of yourself–your heart–that I might live. As in the story where Kuan Yin gives a piece of her own flesh to feed one of her chelas who is dying of starvation, so you gave your heart to me so that I would live. Your love is truly with me every day as I now work on your staff.
I shall never leave you, Mother! I will stand and stand forever at your side! I want the entire world to know just how much you love every single bit of life God created, no matter how small, and that is why I am writing this “I AM the Witness.” I hope that someday I can repay you for saving my life and until that time,
I AM YOURS!
P.S. The most miraculous wonder of this whole thing is that the wound from the slit on my wrist has completely healed. There was a scar for a while but now the angels have completely mended it. Praise the Lord!
“Chenrezig!”
Kuan Yin Prevents a Suicide
Beloved Mother, Beloved Friends of Light,
Two years before I found the Teachings of the Ascended Masters, I experienced the intercession of Kuan Yin, the Goddess of Mercy, in the aspect of the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara.
I was giving an acupressure treatment when I felt a sudden revulsion for my patient. So powerful was the feeling that I could not continue to work. Mustering all the self-control I had to not run out the door, I excused
myself momentarily. I prayed for help to overcome the feeling so that I could finish the session.
Then I heard myself saying, “Chenrezig, Chenrezig, Chenrezig...” To my knowledge I had never heard the word before, but as I said it God’s great love enveloped me so I kept repeating it. I returned to the treatment room and completed the session, feeling a holy reverence for my patient. As I worked, I whispered “Chenrezig” and was uplifted.
I fairly glided out of the room at the conclusion of the session, grateful that this was my last appointment of the day, for I wanted to remain in that transcendent state.
Some minutes later my patient, with tears in his eyes, stepped from the treatment room. He shared his experience with me.
For days he had felt such self-disgust that he had contemplated suicide. He left his body while I worked on him and determined not to return to it. At that point I left the room.
He was surprised to see me return a moment later and, with great tenderness, put one hand on his chest and the other under his back, as if to cradle his heart. At the same time, he saw me look straight at him, extend an arm and hand to him, and compel him to return to his body. He thought, “Because one person wants me to be there and treats me with such loving care, I’ll go back. I’ll try again.”
I was deeply moved. I said I had done nothing but pray and speak the word Chenrezig. I didn’t even know what it meant, but as I had repeated it I had felt God’s boundless love everywhere. That was all.
Later, a Buddhist friend told me that Chenrezig is the Tibetan name for Avalokitesvara, the “thousand-arms, thousand-eyes” Bodhisattva of infinite compassion and mercy, who looks in all directions simultaneously and extends those arms to alleviate the suffering of humanity.
I remembered having heard stories of Avalokitesvara years earlier. No doubt I had heard the name Chenrezig and had filed it in my memory.
How literal is our holy calling to be anchor points for our beloved Ascended Masters in order that they might use us heart, head and hand for the saving of the children of God! How greatly blessed are we!
Hail! (Homage to the sacred name of) the 1,000-arms, 1,000-eyes, greatly merciful, greatly pitying Kuan Yin Bodhisattva!
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| In humble gratitude, |
Mother Mary’s Golden Elixir Heals a Dog Bite
Dear Mother Elizabeth,
My dog, Scarlet, had nine puppies about three weeks ago. We have tried very hard to keep our three-year-old, Amethyst Marie, away from them, explaining to her that Scarlet does not want her around her now. One day, even though Scarlet had growled at her several times, Amethyst went ahead and played with the puppies anyway.
When Scarlet came into the room and saw her, she thought Amethyst was taking the puppies away and bit her right under her eye. My husband, John, brought her to me screaming and crying. Looking at her eye, I supposed she needed two to three stitches. As we were dashing out of the door for the hospital, I stopped to take a few minutes to get my thoughts in order. It came to me to put some of Mother Mary’s golden elixir on her eye before we left. So I rushed to get the elixir and then put it on her eye.
We live only about four minutes away from the hospital. It was a Sunday afternoon and there were very few people in the emergency room. We got in and saw the doctor in about fifteen to twenty minutes. The doctor asked me if she had been scratched by our dog. I said no, she had bitten her. When I first saw the bite I could pull the tear open with my hands. After I put Mother Mary’s golden elixir on it, the tear in the skin completely healed and Amethyst did not need any stitches!
Hail, Mother Mary! All glory to God! Thank you, Ascended Masters! I am so grateful, Mother Elizabeth, for the elixir.
I think my family was a little skeptical about the elixir. Praise the Lord, they surely are not now!
With much gratitude,
The Violet Flame Heals Bronchitis
Beloved Saint Germain,
I love you and my gratitude to you is so great, so great!
You have been very close to me the past three weeks and sometimes I ask myself: “Does he really have time for me only?” I trust, beloved Saint Germain, that you are determined that every child of Light will win his immortality and freedom through the ascension flame...soon.
I feel like I am walking over the bridge to freedom and I have taken the first stumbling steps. I see myself here below and you above. Would you be there reaching out your hands if I were to suddenly fail to take my next step? Yes, I know you will be there to the end of times.
Last Saturday, our child’s christening day, our elder son became very ill with bronchitis. What could I do seven hours before the christening ceremony was to take place?
I called the hospital to try to get some medicine but in vain. My son
couldn’t receive any medicine before two o’clock in the afternoon and that would be too late–we couldn’t wait.
All of a sudden I heard my favorite violet flame song begin to sound in my ears. “Why not?” I thought. “Let’s try God.” You know, I had never tried God before, not really.
So I decreed half an hour, visualizing my son standing in the violet flame. And I’ll tell you what words then came over the lips of my son:
“Mother, that decree tape you played–it helped. I am nearly cured. I don’t want any medicine. I want the power of God.”
Yes, I saw my son clothed in the violet flame and I will never forget my son’s reaction to what happened.
Beloved Father Supreme and beloved Saint Germain, I thank you so much that you revealed yourself to me and my son. I am so touched by your very presence.
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| Yours truly, |
Protection from Psychic Attack
Dear Elizabeth Clare Prophet,
A year ago I called your office to ask for prayer help from you and your staff because I felt mentally attacked by evil beings.
I am so thankful to report that just a few hours after my call to you I experienced a peaceful shield of energy and I have never again been attacked so vehemently, nor have I felt as vulnerable. Thank you so much, dear people of God! God certainly hears your prayers.
I found out that an acquaintance of mine had been doing what amounts to witchcraft on me because of my refusal to do as he wished. Around the same time I also remembered childhood abuses that I had blocked from my conscious awareness. So it has been a year of recovery and a year of protecting myself from those with ill will.
I also am most deeply grateful for the beautiful spiritual materials you have provided. I use them daily in my devotions and am forever grateful to you, for they have changed my life for the better in so many ways.
I admire your courage, determination, talent, tenaciousness, intelligence, stamina, dedication to your calling and unending willingness to serve.
God bless you always!
Sincerely,
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