Pearls of Wisdom

Vol. 34 No. 21 - I AM the Witness - May 26, 1991

 

I AM the Witness

Beloved Mother,

I have been thinking for some time about writing to you about all the healings I have witnessed in the last twenty years in which you, Lanello and other Ascended Masters have interceded. I am especially grateful to you and Lanello for teaching me about Mother Mary. I am sure my soul longed to find her again since I was a child.

One day when I was a little girl about six or seven years old I was walking down the street in the small town where I grew up, La Junta, Colorado, when I saw some nuns. There was a Catholic church in La Junta, but I don’t think there was a convent or school. The nuns just served in the church. They were so beautiful!  I thought they were the most beautiful women I had ever seen–probably because they were the first really pure women, totally devoted to God, I had ever seen.

I asked my mother who they were and she said, “Those are nuns.” I asked, “What’s a nun?”  She answered, “They are Catholic ladies and they work in the church.”  I said again, “They are so beautiful!”  I just couldn’t stop looking at them. My mother was Baptist and she didn’t really see anything special about a nun.

I had a large collection of fancy handmade dolls from foreign countries. Every month we got a catalog of dolls through which I eagerly “shopped.”  Now and then my mother would let me choose a doll for a birthday, Christmas, Easter or some other special occasion. In one catalog I saw a nun doll and I said, “Oh, that’s the one I want!”

My mother said I should choose another doll but I insisted that that was the one I wanted. She said, “That one is for little Catholic girls.”  But I said, “Why?  Why can’t I just have a little nun doll?”  My mother said, “No, you have to choose another doll.”  So I understood that my desire was not acceptable. My mother had a pure heart and was religious but I never heard her pray aloud, and she did not speak to me of God.

I was the only one in my family who felt close enough to God to want to say grace at meals. When I was about six or seven years old, our Sunday school teacher said that we should thank God for our food before every meal. I thought, “Oh, that’s wonderful!  We should always do that!”  So I came home for Sunday dinner that day and said, “We have to thank God for this food!”  Everyone looked at me and then said, “OK, you can go ahead and say the prayer.”

I did–for that meal and every meal for days and weeks. I would always make everyone wait to eat until I had said the prayer. But then I started asking various members of my family if they would like to say the prayer. My father said no, my sister said no, my grandfather said no. My mother said she would say the prayer, so it was always up to my mother or me to say grace as long as I lived at home.

I always had a running conversation with God–I told him everything. I talked everything over with him as I went through the day. I did that all my life really, and it didn’t make any difference what church I was in, whether it was a Jewish temple or a Baptist church or any other church. I just talked to God and I didn’t worry about what the other people did. Actually, it didn’t occur to me until much later that they weren’t talking to God too!

Part of my path was Judaism, which I began studying when I was twenty. I was formally converted at age twenty-one. I didn’t really think about the Christian religion for some years. I still loved Jesus and respected and revered him but I didn’t think of him in the same terms as I had before. I thought of him as being a Jew and probably the world’s greatest teacher that had ever lived. I really felt that he came to lead the Jews back to God and to the true path of God, but not in the same way as the Christians think about it.

The Jews had long ago convinced themselves that they were not looking for a Messiah in a person but were looking for a Messianic era. So I thought, “Well, Jesus should definitely be a part of that!”  But they didn’t want to talk about him at all. We didn’t celebrate Christmas or any Christian holiday. I put all that aside for nineteen years for the sake of my Jewish husband and in order to carefully rear our children in the Jewish tradition.

Once in a while in the temple it would really disturb me that the other people didn’t seem to feel a fire in their hearts or a longing to communicate with God in prayer and reverence during a service. I would be in total communion with God, and sometimes the rabbi would also seem to be in that same communion–but not all rabbis. Probably only three that I met seemed to have a real tie to God.

At times while I would be in deep prayer in the temple, I would suddenly come down to earth with a thud because someone near me would be chattering. I would look around, and I just couldn’t believe that people would be talking. Often there would be a ruckus going on in sections of the congregation. I would think to myself, “Where am I?  I really don’t believe I am seeing this irreverent display!”  And, of course, many people were looking at me. I was usually the only blond in the congregation. Sometimes it was very uncomfortable.

In about 1956 I met a Jewish lady who had been in a concentration camp during World War II. She gave me an I AM book, Unveiled Mysteries. In this book was a picture of Jesus and a picture of Saint Germain. I said, “This is wonderful!  And who is Saint Germain?”  She didn’t know any of his previous embodiments or that he had been Saint Joseph, but she said, “He’s a Master! and Jesus is a Lord!”  I smiled and said, “Oh, that’s nice. That’s really nice!”

I read the book and I knew that everything it said was absolutely true. Had I known there was a church or an organization connected with it, I would have searched for it. At the time, I was experiencing great grief in my marriage and I could barely do anything but try to hold my head above water. So I did nothing about the book for the moment, but I kept it in mind and I knew that it had really touched my heart.

My friend who had survived the concentration camp had also taught me about reincarnation. Of course, this is not taught in the Baptist Church or the Jewish synagogue, but I knew it was right because I remembered scenes from a past lifetime. I remembered one house that I had lived in. I knew I had been there before. When I saw the antique mirror in the hallway, I said, “Goodness!  That is too familiar!  This gives me the chills. I know this house and I know how to go up these stairs and I know everything that’s up there!”

It just astounded me and I was intrigued to have experienced some association with a former life. I knew there was no other way to explain memories of other times and places not yet encountered in this life.

In 1968 I began to experience an intense series of calamities in my life. My husband refused to earn a living and had an affair. I then went through my second divorce. My teenage daughter became increasingly incorrigible and my son got into drugs and shoplifting and was arrested.

I felt as though I had fallen into a deep well of my own personal problems. I didn’t realize that I had allowed my problems to interfere with and diminish my ongoing conversations with God. After each calamity I would say, “Surely nothing worse can happen to me!”  But it always did. Finally, I went to God and told him I really couldn’t handle any more. I asked him to please show me what to do.

A Unity book soon came into my hands from a friend. It gave me a new perspective. I knew the first thing I must do was to renew my tie to God and the second was to stop saying, “Surely nothing worse can happen to me!”

I left Judaism in 1969 and began an earnest search for my true path home to God’s heart. Through people I met at the Unity church, I discovered the Teachings of the Ascended Masters. It took me another month to get to La Tourelle, the headquarters of the Summit Lighthouse in Colorado Springs. Someone had erroneously told me that one couldn’t just go there–one had to be invited by a person who had been there before. I was waiting and waiting to find someone who could invite me.

A man named Doug, whom I had never met, was trying very hard to get Catherine, a friend from the Unity church, into the Teachings of the Ascended Masters and so he kept bringing her books. He brought her volume one of Life and Teachings of the Masters of the Far East by Baird T. Spalding. Catherine said, “I don’t have time to read that stuff.”  So I said, “Well, let me see it!”  She gave it to me, I took it home and stayed up all night until I had finished reading the book.

I hopped into my car the next morning, drove to her house, gave her the book and said, “Tell him you need the next book!”  Of course, Doug was delighted because he thought Catherine had read it. I read the next book, then went back to her house and said, “Tell him you need the rest of them. I must have these books!”

I kept reading and reading and reading. Mother Mary was mentioned in the books, and it was so sweet. It was the first written information about her, outside of the Bible, that I had seen. She was spoken of as being in the Far East at a gathering of the Masters, and so I knew that she was a Master also. I knew that this was real and it was what I wanted. At last I had a glimpse of my true path!

Finally Doug invited Catherine to attend a service at La Tourelle. I know my angels were busy, because they got me to telephone Catherine and invite her to dinner that very Sunday night. She said she couldn’t come because Doug was taking her to the Summit. So I said, “You have to take me with you!”  I followed them in my car and I went in with them. I stayed an hour after the service talking to Alda and Florence, just plying them with questions, trying to find out everything there was to know about this magnificent teaching.

As I became acquainted with the Teachings, Mother Mary was foremost in my mind. I felt so much at home with her.

I joined the staff June 1, 1971. During that summer, the women began to give evening Astreas. <1>  Previously only the men had given them. The very first time we gave our Astreas, we were in the Montessori room in a semicircle around the fireplace. I was decreeing with my eyes shut. When we began singing a beautiful seventeenth century hymn set to the music of “O Love That Will Not Let Me Go,” I opened my eyes. I was astonished to see that we were not in the Montessori room but in a little chapel made of huge stones!

The sconces on the mirror above the fireplace were now candle sconces on a stone wall. We were reading our little songbooks by the dim light of the candles. All the women there were in nuns’ habits. We were in this ancient chapel doing our evening devotions. After the song, I looked up from my book to see the candles again and found that we were back in the Montessori room.

I felt even closer to Mother Mary after that. I knew I had been a nun in another lifetime. This was a great comfort to me, as I had felt so close to God for so much of this life.


I have never seen Mother Mary, but on another occasion I saw myself in a nun’s habit. It was at the Shasta conference in July 1975, after Kuthumi’s dictation. Kuthumi had been embodied as Saint Francis, and in this dictation he talked about his order of the brothers and sisters of Assisi, which I had never heard of previously.

I had made a dress for myself to wear during that conference and had put two daisies on the blouse. When I heard the dictation was about to happen, I was working in the children’s program nearly a mile from the main tent. I was excused to attend it. I raced up to my tent because I knew I had to put on the dress I had made. Then I raced to the big tent where the dictation would be. I just barely made it and was told by the ushers that the only seat available was up in the front row.

I ran in, really gasping for breath. As I sat down, everyone became totally silent. I was sure people at the back of the tent could hear me still gasping for breath, although I tried really hard to be quiet. Toward the end of the dictation, Kuthumi spoke of the white daisy as symbolic of the vows of his order–purity, chastity and obedience. I thought to myself, “Now I know why I made this dress!”

A few minutes later I looked down at my lap and then to the side and I saw that I was not dressed in my dress anymore. I was in a nun’s habit. I looked up and could see the top of it, I could see it around my shoulders and I was so surprised. I reached up to touch it and it went away. I was very disappointed. I said to God that I wouldn’t touch it anymore. A few minutes later it came back.

I wore it for a half hour after the dictation was over. I asked my friend if she saw anything different about me and she said no. I said, “Do you see anything on my head?”  She said, “No, I don’t.”  I said, “Well, there’s something there. It’s my nun’s habit.”  She said, “Oh, that’s nice.” I said, “No, really. That’s what I see.”  Then she was really moved. This vision stayed with me the entire time we were lined up in the tent for our communicant blessings. <2>

Since I found Mother Mary, I have always felt her presence because every time I needed comfort, she would always comfort me. She always came to show me the way out and to reassure me, “You have to go through these things. That’s your job.”  I would say, “OK, if that’s my job, I’ll do it.”  I knew she was there and I loved her. I loved to hear about her.

Mother Mary is always there to help and comfort. She has never failed me. I know she played a big part in starting the Montessori school in Colorado Springs. Along with the other teachers, I wrote petitions to her and Maria Montessori every day. The teachers decreed together every evening for the children and the success of the school.

I heard only a few dictations from Mother Mary delivered by Mark.  His voice was always sweet and pleasant, but even more so when Mother Mary was speaking through him. His voice would take on a very loving and gentle tone.

I dearly loved it when we began saying the rosary in 1972. It was very precious to me. I remember feeling so thrilled that we would do a rosary to Mother Mary. I had no idea what it was at first. Many of us serving on staff had not come from Catholic homes and were not familiar with the rosary. After your teaching on it, Mother, it became very important to me. It sounded like heaven to me and I couldn’t wait to give it.

At one time when we were in Santa Barbara during 1974, I was going through somewhat of an emotional turmoil. You told me that what I was experiencing had no reality and that I must get very close to Mother Mary. I realized that I must not be as close to my blessed friend as I thought I was or needed to be for the resolution of my problems. Then I really prayed fervently every day and talked to Mother Mary like my best friend.

That was the real beginning of my close, close tie to her, and my total faith in her healing powers. Since then I’ve never hesitated for a moment to ask her for healing for anyone or for myself. She has always answered my prayers speedily and completely. I have come to regard her not only as a specialist in cancer, tumors and skin problems but also as an adept in every type of healing–physical and emotional.

At the very first conference I attended in 1970, the Easter conference, you instructed us on healing and working with our body elementals. I was delighted with that concept and actually saw my body elemental. I thought she would look like a little elf but she looked exactly like I did when I was four years old–with the same hairstyle and clothes!

I have noticed that many of the healings I have called for seemed to result not only in healing for the one for whom I prayed but also in many benefits for me such as joy, great peace and always a closer tie to Mother Mary’s heart.

As you know, Mother, my family has a history of cancer, including three deaths and two remissions. I have not personally had a medical diagnosis of cancer, although I have had many tumors and cysts (all benign, by God’s grace) and some skin problems that might well have been malignant.

In 1974 a wart or mole on my left hand, which I had had for at least ten years, began to enlarge. The top frequently peeled off showing a deep fuchsia-colored growth. It was painful and ugly. I showed it to my doctor, who was greatly concerned. With a stern look he said, “Promise me you will see a cancer specialist immediately.”  I said I would.

On my way out of his office, I made a quick call to Mother Mary to heal it if it were God’s will. I promptly forgot the whole matter.

Two weeks later when I went back to my doctor for my next appointment, he asked, “What did the cancer specialist say?”  I had totally forgotten my promise and looked at my left hand, then at my right hand. There was no growth on either hand. I confessed that I had forgotten to call a doctor, but the spot was gone!  There was no scar or trace of it. Then I remembered my quick call to Mother Mary and was very grateful.

Five years later, I felt a tiny, hard pimple at the top edge of my upper lip. It felt like dry skin there. I scratched it off. It was there again the next day but I did not bother to go look in a mirror with my glasses on. When this had gone on for three or four days, the bump or pimple becoming a little worse each day, I finally looked at it in the mirror. To my horror, an ugly grayish growth about one-eighth of an inch in diameter had replaced that much of the pink part of my upper lip.

I went immediately to Mother Mary. I told her I didn’t think I could handle this one. If I lost part of my lip, it would make people sick to look at me. I asked her to please remove this dreadful gray thing from my lip, if it were God’s will.

Fortunately, I had no time to sit and think about it or to worry about whether or not Mother Mary would heal it. A few days later it occurred to me to check my lip. I couldn’t feel anything there with my fingers. When I looked in the mirror, my lip was restored without a trace of the grayish growth!  I was and still am grateful beyond words for Mother Mary’s loving and ever-present care for me.

In 1983 my sister called me to tell me she had just been told by her doctor that she had lung cancer. I asked if the doctor was really sure. She said yes–that from lab tests and X rays, several specialists had concurred that it was cancer and that it had metastasized from somewhere else in her body. She was really frantic. Her four children had come from out of state to be with her. They were naturally all in great distress, being certain their mother had only a short time to live.

I assured my sister that she didn’t have to die, that Mother Mary could heal the cancer and that I would do a novena for her. I told her I would send her a Heart magazine with pictures of the healing thoughtform and asked her if she would visualize it over her lungs. She said she would.

I immediately sat down and wrote a very fervent petition to Mother Mary to heal my sister and told her I would give certain devotions every day until she was healed. I did the rosary twice a day and three healing decrees twelve times each. I just knew Mother Mary would heal my sister. I would not have offered to make the call if I had not felt it so strongly. I’m sure Mother Mary healed her immediately, but it took two weeks before we heard about it.

My sister knew about the Teachings but did not accept them. Neither she nor anyone in her family was religious. She read the Heart magazine cover to cover and did the visualizations but would not say any prayers.

Two weeks later, after my sister had more tests and X rays, she called me to say, “All the new tests were negative. The doctors said they must have made a mistake!”  She went on to tell me that there was no sign of any problem in her lungs, no cancer or disease of any kind. They had decided it had probably been a virus. I asked her if she believed that and she said she did.

Of course, I was overjoyed that she was healed but astounded that she would not acknowledge Mother Mary’s help in her healing. Perhaps she knew at some level that if she admitted that Mother Mary had healed her, she would have to change her life and beliefs. Mother Mary was teaching me to have patience with my relatives.

In 1986 I worked in an insurance office in Minneapolis. Ralph, the head of the department in which I served, and his secretary, Shirley, were very sweet and kind people. One morning Shirley told me that Ralph’s wife was having her second battle with cancer. She had previously had throat cancer and was treated surgically. The surgery had seemed to be successful but the cancer had recurred. A biopsy had confirmed the malignancy and she was scheduled to go to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, in two weeks.

Shirley told me that Ralph was very worried about his wife. I asked Shirley for the name of Ralph’s wife and what kind of person she was. Without hesitation she said, “Oh, she’s an angel just like Ralph!”

It seemed to me I should call to Mother Mary for her. I asked Shirley if she would do meditations and prayers for Ralph’s wife if I would bring her a picture of a healing thoughtform. I had no idea what she would think about such a project, as I didn’t know her religious background or beliefs. She was delighted with the idea, confiding that she knew that colors had something to do with healing.

I brought her the Heart magazine with the picture of the healing thoughtform and instructed her to visualize this thoughtform over the neck of Ralph’s wife while saying prayers for her healing. I wrote a petition to Mother Mary, promising to do healing decrees and “The Balm of Gilead” decree for Ralph’s wife until she was healed.

Two weeks later Ralph drove his wife to Rochester for her surgery, which was to happen the next day. After the surgery, Ralph telephoned the office to tell Shirley that none of the lumps were malignant!  He said it was a miracle!  The minute Shirley was off the phone, she came to my desk very excited and happy and told me what Ralph had said. Then she said, “You did it!  You saved her life!”  I assured her that I had not created the miracle but that her prayers and visualizations together with my own had opened the way for Mother Mary to anchor God’s healing light into the physical plane and physical body of Ralph’s wife.

I know I will be grateful forever to Mother Mary, and I am more grateful every day to you, beloved Mother, for all you have done for me and for making Mother Mary such a reality in my life.

One more healing I must witness to is the one you called forth from Saint Germain at the 1984 fall conference.

About seven years ago an occasional problem with my lower back began to get worse and more frequent. Chiropractic adjustments brought relief, but the pain always recurred in a few months or weeks.

In 1984 the condition became so severe that chiropractic adjustments would hold only a few hours. I could barely move, taking only one- or two-inch steps. The pain was excruciating. My doctor sent me to have X rays of my hips.

On the last day of the conference, I went to the altar for a healing. You asked for a description of my problem. I described the lower back problem. You were looking over my head as though you were reading something in the air. You said, “I know that is painful, but the real problem is that you have a serious bone condition. Your bones are transparent!”

You called to Saint Germain to heal me. Then you recommended a treatment of herb teas, poultices and compresses–everything in Maria Treben’s book <3>for bones. You said I must stay very close to Saint Germain because he was in my heart and was going to heal me. Then the whole congregation sang to Saint Germain. My friends helped me back to my room, tucking me in after having applied the first of many compresses to my back.

The next day, my doctor came looking for me to tell me the results of the X rays. He said, “You have osteoporosis!”  I told him I already knew that. When he asked how I knew, I told him that you had made a call for my healing the night before and had told me my bones were transparent. (I knew that osteoporosis is a disease in which the bones deteriorate and appear transparent in X rays.)

Since the doctor had been a devoted chela of yours and the Masters for at least thirteen years, he was as delighted as I was to see this immediate, physical, scientific evidence of something we had known all along–that you were and are a finely tuned instrument for the Masters’ healing powers.

The doctor prescribed megadoses of minerals and vitamins, then helped me search through Maria Treben’s book, Health through God’s Pharmacy, and outlined a regimen of herb teas. I started my day with one cup of horsetail tea, to which I added one tablespoon of Swedish Bitters. I drank a half cup of this tea a half hour before breakfast and the other half forty-five minutes before supper.

After breakfast, I made two cups of yarrow tea. I drank it one-half cup at a time, four times through the day. To two of these half cups, I added one-half teaspoon of ground fenugreek seeds.

In the morning I also made two cups of calendula tea, which I sipped through the day. Before lunch I made two cups of stinging nettle tea. To one cup of this tea, I added one tablespoon of Swedish Bitters. I drank half of this cup one-half hour before lunch, the rest after lunch. I drank one-half cup of the stinging nettle in mid-afternoon and the last half cup with one-half tablespoon of Swedish Bitters after dinner.

For my sciatica, I used the alternating compresses of Swedish Bitters and castor oil as you had suggested, but for two days at the beginning of the treatment I applied comfrey root poultices, which also helped a great deal to relieve the pain.

My pain disappeared in several weeks and I was able to walk again. In a number of months most of the symptoms were gone. The osteoporosis was not simply arrested, it was totally healed!  I have had extensive X rays for dental work and for a recent broken bone. The dentist and doctors found no trace of osteoporosis.

My heart is so full of love for and gratitude to you, Mother, not only for all the healing and teaching but for your love and comfort–and most of all for your example of a loving and devoted Chela on this precious path of the ascension and the Teachings of the Ascended Masters!

All my love,


1. The “Decree to Beloved Mighty Astrea” is a decree to the Divine Mother that cuts people free from discarnate entities, malevolent spirits and all addictions. See 1991 Pearls of Wisdom, pp. Vol. 34, No. 13, pp. 179-80.

2. an initiation given to those who join Church Universal and Triumphant

3. Health through God’s Pharmacy, now out of print. See Maria Treben, Health from God’s Garden:  Herbal Remedies for Glowing Health and Well-Being, available through Summit University Press.