My Search for Truth in Life

By Shawn Leo Jacobs

Shawn JacobsMy earliest recollections numb me still. Mother left us at an early age and from the pain of separation and the emptiness that followed, there stirred within me a most powerful yearning that rose, phoenix-like from the remains of a broken family.

During my early high school years, I sought a spiritual path in the market place to give form to an otherwise, abstract yearning. All manner of spiritual books were ardently read and paths investigated. During the early 1970s, I was initiated into Raja Yoga by a guru and disciplined my quest to many hours of daily meditation. Bliss poured into my consciousness like yellow sunshine flooding a darkened room. If I had not found the truth, I had found peace.

During my naval career I studied the teachings of Paramhansa Yogananda and was initiated into Kriya Yoga. It was a path full of wonder and the universe bestowed its gift of Shakti. The techniques of inner sound and inner light played out in vistas of grand elation and beauty beyond description. Yet within this comfortable reality, my heart yearned for a path of serving others and to come out of bliss, so as to bring heaven a little closer to my fellow humanity.

Later, in civilian life, my search for truth became more intense and I prayed long and hard to the Divine Mother, while I sought answers for an agony of cycles, until a most interesting thing happened. With a month’s leave available from my employer, I planned a trip to an isolated part of the South African coast. After packing rations for a ten day fast, I visited the New Age Bookstore and purchased some reading for the trip. One of the books had a beautiful picture of a pilgrim treading a well-known path leading into snow-capped peaks. It was thus that The Chela and the Path found its way into my knapsack.

Arriving at my destination in heavy rain, I rented a small bungalow away from the mainstream on the beach, and hurriedly unpacked my rations and clothing while I waited out the gloomy weather and clouded skies. As days passed without respite from the rain, I succumbed to reading The Chela and the Path.

It was on the third evening that I completed my reading. It was at this time that the rain stopped and all became very still. Within me a deep yearning was, in the twinkling of an eye, replaced by a gentle feeling of elation. Something deep within my being was responding to what was read. My soul leaped as I began to realize that a long search was ended and an ecstatic bliss permeated my entire being. Gently sobbing and with tears streaming down my cheeks, I rushed outdoors into the cool evening air. As I stared deeply into the heavens above, the stars twinkled through my tear-filled eyes. My soul be praised, I was found…

2 Responses to My Search for Truth in Life

  1. Very moving and heart-felt testimonial. Thanks for sharing, Shawn!
    Jaspal Soni, New Delhi, India

  2. Beautiful story. I recognize the intense desire, agony of searching & bliss in the arms of the Beloved . Blessings.

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